The Resistance: The Republic of Texas
The Republic of Texas is a group of patriots who have apparently uncovered the vast conspiracy in place since 1865, when the Illuminati
arranged to have Texas annexed as part of the United States.
They’re on to Us!
The members of the Republic of Texas have figured out that Texas wasn't really part of the Confederacy during the U.S. Civil War; it was
merely an ally and should not have been considered a territory of the United States when the South lost that war. Furthermore, they uncovered the dastardly way in which the citizens of both the U.S. and Texas were deceived into believing that Texas had been granted statehood in 1870. Despite our best efforts,
they have apparently uncovered the truth that minor actions—like a petition for statehood by the Texas legislature and the acceptance of that petition and
subsequent allocation of federal representation and resources to Texas—are not grounds for Texas to be part of the United States. Incidentally, members of the
Republic of Texas have also discovered the communist plot to take over the United States, the use of ”Mad Cow Disease" as a biological warfare agent in Texas,
and the release of the Chupacabras from UFOs as a means of spreading panic and disrupting the efforts of ”Texians."
Membership Has Its Benefits
To become a citizen of the Republic of Texas, one must renounce one's allegiance to the United States and swear allegiance to the Republic of Texas. This gives
a person some nifty rights, like the right to drive 90 MPH on any road, to not pay income taxes, and to put liens on the property of people he or she doesn't like.
Battle-hardened Fighters of Freedom (Or Whatever)
In 1997, the Republic of Texas' crack military team successfully captured the home of an elderly couple at the Davis Mountain Resort. Although reports are
sketchy, it must have been a rough battle because the commandos had to shoot the retired homeowner in the process. The group then negotiated for the
release of its ambassador, who was kidnapped by our agents after he failed to stop filing liens against our co-conspirators. Our agents, in the form of Texas
State Troopers, Texas Rangers, and sheriff's deputies, encircled the captured territory and eventually captured the soldiers who had taken over the territory. The group's leader, Richard McLaren, was sentenced to 99 years in prison—by the state of Texas, not the republic—for his role in the operation. Other members of
the unit were also sent to prison.
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